Family Comes First
by luckypixi
Summary: When Cas vacates Jimmy, some long buried feelings are brought into the open. Just how is Jimmy coping with the loss of his life? Sam and Dean find out the truth and start to understand how the apocalypse has impacted their angels' vessel.


**Hi! This is a one-shot. Just so you know. **

**The fic is self explanatory as to why Jimmy is here and Cas isn't and is set, again after Season 5, with Lucifer being put away with a plan that didn't involve Sam going to hell or Cas going back to heaven.**

**No slash, just a homesick Jimmy.**

**As always please read and review!**

**Onwards...Enjoy!**

Dean, Sam and Jimmy stood in a little grass clearing between the high rise buildings in an Illinois town. It had been two days since Castiel had vacated Jimmy's body- he had some urgent business to attend to in Heaven and didn't feel it was necessary to remain within a vessel. So Sam and Dean had been instructed by the angel to take care of Jimmy and make sure nothing happened to him; if something did, Cas would have no way of getting back to them as he doubted Clare would say yes to him a second time.

At the start Dean had found it weird having Jimmy around; his personality was so different from his angels, and plus he had to get used to calling him Jimmy, instead of Cas. He also had to restrain himself much more. Before, he could just fling his arm around Cas without a second thought, but now he couldn't because Jimmy didn't feel that way towards him. So he had resolved to keeping a distance between him and Jimmy, though not so much as distance Sam would notice.

So here they were, in some Illinois town just outside Chicago, where Jimmy remembered there was a little place that sold great food. They had spent the day scoping the State for future hunts, finding a Poltergeist that would do nicely. Jimmy didn't really have much of a say, nor did he want a say. Dean knew that he had only agreed to come to this town because his home town wasn't too far away; he had seen him craning his neck among the crowds, hoping to catch a glimpse of either Claire or Amelia. Having no luck, he grudgingly helped Sam geographically pinpoint the best places to hunt.

'So Dean, Poltergeist or possible Vampire sighting?' the younger Winchester asked. Dean turned to look at his brother, who had found a bench to sit on, scrolling through his laptop. Jimmy sat on the other side of the bench, looking around, immersed in crowd spotting.

The elder Winchester shrugged. 'You pick, Sammy. You're due a turn of hunts' he smiled.

'Dean.' It was the first time Jimmy had really spoke that day. 'Pontiac isn't far from here. A couple of miles. I could be there and back before 10 tonight.'

Dean's stomach sank. He had known this was coming. 'Dude, nothing changed since last time. The demons are still going to want to nab you. It's a miracle they haven't tried anything so far. It's safer for both you and your family if you just stay away.' He hated doing this to the guy; he knew how much family meant to Jimmy, how family meant to him. He felt like the worlds biggest hypocrite.

Jimmy mumbled something incoherent, anger clearly sinking through. He turned to the shorter man. 'What did you just say?' he asked.

'I said "since when did you get to play God?"' Repeated Jimmy, turning a full 360 on the bench to stare in the other direction. Dean looked at Sam, who shrugged in a sympathetic way, burying his head back into his computer.

'I've lost everything, you know.' Jimmy spoke with his back to them. 'My wife, my daughter. And not just them. My parents, nieces, nephews, brother, sisters. Everything.' He scoffed, a hard sound which sounded wrong coming out of him. 'And they're not even dead. I can't see them, speak to them. I might as well not exist.' He turned back to the Brothers, who were watching him with sad faces. 'It's just me.' He gave them a stare. 'And you know what the sad bit is?' he asked. Dean shrugged slightly. 'It's not even me that you want. It's Castiel. I'm just the meat he wears, the idiot who lets someone else control his body, whenever you need him more than me.' He laughed, humourlessly.

His eyes softened slightly. 'It's not that I don't care. I do. I get that you need Castiel, and I get that I'm probably the only one stupid enough to keep saying yes to the son of a bitch. But I have a life too, you know. At least I did. I can't just give that up.' He looked Dean full in the eyes, Sam having averted his gaze completely out of shame. 'Could you. Give up hunting, Sam, Bobby, if I asked you to?'

Dean stayed silent, knowing full well his answer would be a resounding 'no'.

Jimmy nodded. 'No. You wouldn't. So please, don't expect me to do the same.'

Dean found his voice finally. 'Hey, man, we're just trying to keep you safe. That's all-'

Jimmy cut him off 'I said I get it. I understand that if I see them , I put them in danger. I remember what happened last time. That's the last thing I want to do. Just a phone call. That's all I'm asking.'

Dean was about to refuse, to reiterate that it was too dangerous, when, before his eyes, Sam thrust his mobile into Jimmy's hands. 'Five minutes' his brother told the other man.

Jimmy nodded his thanks, before getting off the bench, to head for some privacy.

Dean narrowed his eyes, before hitting his brother around the back of the head.

'Ow' Sam turned to his brother. 'What was that for?'

'Sam, we are trying to help him!'

'By keeping him away from his family. Dean, that isn't helping the guy! You're just pushing him away. Stop acting like such a dick and think of it from his point of view!' Sam angrily berated his brother.

Dean scoffed and turned away. As far as he was concerned, keeping Jimmy away from his family was keeping two innocent people being slaughtered by demons. He could see Jimmy's point, but he thought that the guys main priorities should be his wife and daughter. But, then again, he had neither so couldn't really empathise with the guy.

A few minutes of tense silence passed, the two brothers not speaking a word to one another, when the sound of footsteps reached them again. Sam looked up to see Jimmy, his eyes slightly red, as though he had been crying, hair messed up as if he had run his hands through it several times. Jimmy offered him his phone.

'Thanks' he croaked, sitting down heavily on the bench next to the younger Winchester. Sam eyed him.

'Everything ok?' he asked.

Jimmy stared straight ahead, a vacant look on his face that reminded Dean of Cas on his face. 'No' he deadpanned.

Sam tried to fish for something to say, but came up with nothing.

'Claire went to camp last week' Jimmy started talking, still looking straight ahead. 'She fell over and gashed her knee.' He sighed and sniffed. 'She needed five stitches.' A single tear ran down his face. 'I should have been there. Held her hand.' He looked at Dean. 'I can't even remember what I was doing at the time.'

'Look, man-' Dean started.

'Amelia has a new job.' Jimmy seemed to be talking exclusively to Sam, ignoring Dean completely. 'At the local nursery. She always was good with kids' he smiled. He sighed heavily, drawing the sound out.

He looked at his watch. 'It's nearly six o'clock. The diner closes at seven' he stood up, rolled his neck and reached to pull on his trench coat. He looked down and smiled slightly at Sam, looked at Dean, searchingly and strode forwards, in the direction of the bustling street to the left of them. He joined the jostling crowd and didn't look back.

Sam shut his laptop, stowed it away and glowered at Dean with his trademark Bitchface. He started to follow Jimmy.

Dean stood there, his eyebrows raised, in absolute confusion. He threw his hands into the air and made to follow his brother and Jimmy. His heart felt heavy and his stomach felt as though he had just swallowed a ton of lead. What he would give now to have Castiel back. At least then everything would be simpler. His heart panged at that thought, guilt coursing through him like an electric current.

He shook his head and disappeared in the crowd.

**Aw. I would have thought, that with my fics, where it is mostly Dean/Cas, Dean would have different feelings towards Jimmy. And I thought that Sam could probably relate to him more.**

**Like it? Don't like it? Please review and let me know! As always, I reply to all the signed ones I get! :D**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Luckypixi**

**xxx**


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